Internet Radio Show May 20th 8PM

Hey I really have to start blogging more, since I've been working on my book so I'm not quite sure how to separate blog post from book stuff.  Tonight I'll be on an internet radio show on www.ACIMgatherRadio.org just go to the site and listen in.  Real laid back tonight but I'll start doing this on a weekly basis.  Hope to chat with you there.  Oh download paltalk.com or tweet with us using #acimsb see you there.

Like Water

We are spiritual beings, who - being conscious of itself has chosen to experience itself through extension.  I like to tell people of a great truth that came to me during my meditation.  I have had a number of these life altering experiences.  I had the dawning that there was not a singular voice that said "let there be.."  it was a chorus of voices that said "let there be."  My voice was in the midst of those voices, as was yours. 

We have such limited perceptions of ourselves.  We some how think that we are small and powerless when in reality we are one with all that is.

 

I love science today, it proves the very existence of God in my mind.  Let me see, I can describe this to you in a number of ways, but the quickest would have to be to look at the molecular break down of water  H₂O, no matter where you find it or in what quantity you find it it's molecular structure is still the same.  Ice, steam, snow, however.  Accordingly, there is a limited number of elements found on this earth, right?  At the atomic level they are known to consist of a proton, neutron and that stuff - follow me now because I am rusty at this stuff, its been a while.  

Atoms are the smallest basic element of the universe according to science.  The universe is made up of these tiny atoms constantly splitting and dying on and on into infinity.  Is this not the same thing that happens on the back of your hand?  Is it not the same thing that happens in your life?  People reproducing - giving birth to what will eventually die.  Is it not the totality of all God.  G-O-D is the subatomic structure back of all of life, the energy that orders and animates life.  Not just sub-atomically but it is the totality too.  

So the analogy I use is that we are to God as a drop is to the ocean.  Oh and here is another thought - if you could capture a wave, a single wave, out of the ocean and brought it on land maybe put it in a tub or pool.  It would be just be water right?  The ocean in combination with the moon and countless other factors is what creates the energy that makes a wave.  Apart from which its just a puddle of water. 

What is funny is that even as I write this, I realize that so many will say that this proves nothing.  Is that not what faith is for?   Faith is visionary, knowing  what is without vision or proof.

       

Anyway those are my thoughts for the day.  Well probably just my reflections for the moment.  I may revisit this again or may not who knows.  Here's my disclaimer.  This is brain drain for me and the thoughts are just that thoughts.  Sorry, I hadn't planned to polish them for you with a good editing job.  I realize that I don't own thoughts but like anyone else I like credit for what comes through me.  I had a friend who said to me that everyone who shares their great gifts receives great gifts by acknowledging them as such and passing them along.  You know how it goes - a gift is not a gift until you give it away and in your giving you open yourself up to receive more and therefore to give more.  There is truly a flow, a rhythm to life.  

Copyright© 2001 By Sandra Bishop Ministries

Give Me God

I want to have a gripe session today.  I don't know exactly why this bothers me, maybe you will after I explain.  I have found that many people have a "gimme" relationship with God. 
I constantly talk to people who see God merely as an ATM machine.  "How do I put the right code or energy in, so I can get out what I want?"  It is as if the entire relationship is built upon satisfaction of a need.  "Need a healing?"  "Need money?"  "A relationship?"  "In trouble?"  Whatever you need turn to God!  Don't get me wrong, it works, but the question is: "is that all it's about?"  Tell me this, would you want to deal with a person whose sole reason for interacting with you was because they want something all the time?  
Let me digress for a moment, I want to stick in a quick story here.  A few years ago I decided that I needed a financial planner.  (It is the "in" thing these days.)  He was going to help me find ways to make the little money I have work for me.  He assessed my expenditures.  He talked about everything from how much I tipped my hair stylist to how much groceries should cost for a single person.  Then he really got personal.  He asked me about my dog "Hani."  How much on the vet?  On boarding?  On food? (Now, I don't know if you have pets, but he was treading on thin ice, and this was before I got my two aquariums.)  He said, "Sandra, as often as I have come to your house I don't think I have ever heard Hani bark."  To which I replied "he never barks when I'm at home, if someone is at the door he jumps to his feet and starts running back and forth between me and the door until I get there.  He gets excited because we have company."  Personally I thought it was cute.  He jots something down on his note pad.  The he says "I think you may come out cheaper with a home security system, because your dog really doesn't serve much of a purpose here.  Let's be rational, (he saw my face) Hani can't help around the house, he doesn't seem to protect the house and probably is more trouble than he is worth since you have to feed, clean and pay for all those other miscellaneous things that vary from month to month."  I am going to stop there because my reaction is not the point here.  Let me go back to what I was writing about.
People often maintain relationships because they think they can benefit from it in some tangible way.  Some of us have friends more so for what we perceive the advantages of the friendship may be rather than for the shear pleasure of the friendship itself.  This would be precisely how some of us view a relationship with God.  Serve out self-interest.  Examples:

• To get their prayers answered.  "God gimme" like He's an ATM machine.
• It makes them a good person.  Belong to this group and you too will be good and everyone else is bad.
• They can get into heaven in the end.  

Maybe its me, I guess I don't get it.  What happen to just for the hell of it?  I know that sounds like a pun, but if God never gave or did a dog-gone thing for me I would love Her no less.  
This example may piss you off but. . .Let's take my dog for example.  No matter what I do.  If I scream at him, hit him, not feed him, stay out all night or any of a thousand other transgressions - he still loves me.  It is unconditional!  I've learned a lot about love from having a big family yes, but I have also learned a great deal from my dog too.  I love my friends the same way.  Not because of who they are, what they have or what they can do for me but simple because.   People are not simply a means to an end neither is God.  ACIM says  something like man is generous out of self interest but check this out. . 
God loves us all through extension.  We are what God is.  God express Itself as us.  I love God by loving me, which means loving you.  Seeing you as wrong or flawed or seeing you as anything less than a perfect expression of God means that I am not loving myself or God, since that would make God flawed.  Get it?
Leading the spiritual life is about seeing the face of God - yes!  Know that that face is everywhere, in whatever your eyes can see and in what they can not see too.   We are immersed in God.  Knowing that despite what you think God does or does not do for you, love anyway, be thankful anyway because God is You!  Gimme God?  Gimme Me!
Oh and for those of you that were wondering.  Hani is still with me, I have about 20 beautiful fish in two tanks, a bunch of plants, I feed the birds and hug the trees, but the tree thing is free.  What I don't have now is a financial planner.
Copyright© 2001 By Sandra Bishop Ministries

The Encounter

I have to tell about something that happened to me recently.  I was out with one of my students from my ACIM class.  We'd gone to eat and were taking a walk in order to finish our conversation before going our separate ways.  I smiled and spoke to a small group of people sitting on a bench as he continued to talk.  I didn't think he even noticed the group because we had passed them when he suddenly stopped, turn around, and said to one of the men, "I know you."  In fact it was a man he'd not seen in twenty plus years.  So there was a warm embrace, quick catch-up info exchanged and then introductions.  

I was introduced as a minister.  It happens sometimes because of what I do, I rarely introduce myself as such.  I don't like the barriers that titles like minister or talk show host elicit.  Others become overly self-conscious and often change the level of their conversation.  It is not as if I am offended by the respect or reverence that they may be trying to show, its that authenticity goes out the window.  Try as I might to just be my fun loving self  when someone adds a title, it is as if there is an expectation that I'm judging, assessing or desire to have the last word.  I don't claim to be an authority or think that I have some corner on God.  

Most of friends know that at best they'll be fodder for a show or a sermon topic at some point, that's it.

Back on the bench normal conversation continued for a few moments while each person tried to establish themselves given the introduction of my "so-called" title.  One was a pianist for a Baptist church, raised Apostolic and now attending a Pentecostal church with ministerial aspirations, his girlfriend and the guy my friend knew who use to do radio back in the early seventies.  Uh-oh I thought - two talkers one of which was what I call a holy-roller here we go, so I said a quick prayer surrendering the conversation and its outcome to God.  Suddenly, it was as if I was consumed in a haze as I heard the aspiring minister ask both of us were we born again Christians?  

I don't recall what was actually said because there was another scene being played out in my mind.  As the man I was with stepped forward and began talking, a scene of Star Wars proportions rolled in my head.  Like a Jet-I knight he pulled out his light saver sword, and began batting down and blocking every bullet they shot in my direction.  Their bullets were in fact just scriptures, shouted out like machine gun fire.  I watched not saying a whole lot, but simply asking questions what I got back was more scripture.  The man I was with seemed engaged by the banter.   I, on the other hand, watched and listened a lot, bewildered that the woman  seemed upset and that the aspiring minister never expressed a single independent thought.  Everything was "the bible says."  

As we walked away I was struck that this man from my class wanted to protect me.  I learned a lot during that exchange, but also used it as a teaching tool as well.  First thing I said to him was that God does not need soldiers, contrary to popular belief.  While I appreciated his gallantry I did not need protection.  To respond to someone as if I am being attacked means that I believed I could be attacked.  That's self attack.  Only in my defenselessness can real strength be found.  I had no investment in being right or trying to sway their opinion.  If I have a ministry it is a love ministry, that does not mean I focus on where we are different but rather where we are one.  Therefore it matters not to me whether one is Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu or Atheist bottom line is LOVE.  The second thing I told his was all minds are joined,  so I need not say a word.  If I make the correction in my mind it can't help but effect theirs.  Talk is just a bunch of words its our works that matter, what are you doing he kept asking them.

When the one man had stood up, the scripture thrower, he puffed up as if to stand taller and be bigger.  I myself was caught up in and awed by my own thoughts.  I felt love for this man not the condescending kind that would say he'd get it one day.  No, it was the kind that wanted to simply bow down and wash his feet. 

Love waits on an invitation, not a time.

Are You Pregnant?

Ever felt pregnant?  No, not with a child pregnant, with possibilities pregnant.  It's like going through a gestation period of growth - say nine months of darkness.  You're sustained during those dark periods because you know its for your greater good.  Yea, that kind of pregnant.  I've felt like I was there.  Ironically, now that I feel like I'm about to give birth - I realize that my sister-in-law Sonia is in her ninth month and actually about to give birth too.  All minds are connected, right?

Well a lot has transpired in the last nine months for me.  As I look back over it, its transformational stuff.  Its interesting, because in the midst of these life changes we don't always recognize them occurring.  Just like a pregnancy we simply trust that the process is taking place as it should.  We plant the seeds of our desire into womb of life and await the manifestation of that desire.  The process often takes time to come to fruition because we are not always ready to receive what we want, so we wait.  

What's born  is a new vision, a new level of knowing, a new level of loving.  What's born is God in man, a new savior.  No not a savior for the world but a savior for ourselves.  If we each must be born again or anew then we are born anew in mind.  Consciousness lifted from where it was before into new levels of being.  We are empowered not to be better, but rather to recognize how good we already are.  

To begin let's start by seeing ourselves as God sees us.  The sky really has opened up and God really did say "you are my beloved child in whom I am well pleased."  I know, you heard the needle scrap across the record or someone yell "cut," but it wasn't God.  Your ego is trying to keep you in hell.  Where is hell you ask?  Its that spot where you believe God is not, where you think you are separate from God.  In reality it doesn't exist.  Your ego telling you you're not good enough, that something is wrong with you, that God has judged against you and found you wanting.  Trust me, if God loves you and sees you as good, all your little thoughts of inadequacy can't prevail against what God knows to be true.  

Funny, it just popped into my mind that Sonia says on her voicemail "don't forget to push, (pray until something happens)."  A pregnant woman telling us to push.  Good advice, if you want to give birth to your new self PUSH!!!

Separate & Not Equal

I was riding along in my car the other day listening to a broadcast of a Christian Talk show the name escapes me.  It seems that the focus of the show was to bastardize everything and everyone who didn't fit their definition of "Christian" including other Christians.  As a result my Sunday radio broadcast dealt with prejudice.

  

I think it is interesting how people pay lip service to not being prejudice.  Unfortunately, that does not hold true across the board with all forms of prejudice.  Most people hate to be discriminated against but fill perfectly justified when they project their opinions and prejudices onto others.  It is as if our ego plays this game telling us that it is alright.  I have to chuckle because at one of my discussion groups this man who was homeless talked about another man who was also homeless but came over and asked me for some change.  Both of them are homeless but the one before me felt superior enough to point out that he was not begging.  

You see our ego plays this trick on us.  It makes us believe that we are all separate and that we must compare ourselves to others.  So somehow you are better or worst, right or wrong based on some arbitrary form of assessment.  

The Christian broadcast spoke out against the homosexual community, against the evolution of family, and certain other denominations.  They have judged against various groups and found them wanting.  Imagine that!  Does that not totally go against what Christianity is all about?  Some Christians get into the habit of demonizing the rest of the world.  

Maybe one day they will come to realize that it is really them that are the wolves in sheep clothing.  Maybe one day they will see how they have castrated God and rendered him impotent by second guessing the order of it all.  Maybe one day they will discover the message of love that was being shared, not tolerance but love.  Maybe one day they will no longer need to see separation but will declare the at-one-ment.

Just a thought!

Bringing Meaning by Bringing You!

Have you ever asked yourself are you ready for something?  If you are like most people, I am sure that you have, about something.  Unfortunately, most people think that we "ought" all be on the same page, this is simply not possible.  Not everyone is ready or interested in the same paths of development.  Learning to be respectful of that can be a part of your own spiritual growth.  

We have a tendency to think that everyone should be a certain way, the way that we define spiritual.  When a person does not display the particular matrix that we see as spiritual, there's an inclination  to judge them as being the opposite.  

I was always intrigued by the idea that Jesus shared; not everyone will be able to hear what he was saying.  Certainly everyone heard the words, but for some the words would inspire judgment, in others fear and others unconditional love.  

A quick example would be to put 10 people in a room and have someone read them 2 sentences.  Now ask them what they heard.  It's likely each person would walk away with a different interpretation of what was said.  According to our experiences and our soul's intention we hear what we hear.  

Jesus said he who has an ear let him hear what spirit says.  We each hear the same message but bring meaning from our own perspective colored with our own experiences and interpretation.  We think of ourselves as right, and we are - from our perspective.   That is one of the reasons it is important for each of us to realize that the experience of God is not something that can be taught to us by another.  We are each responsible to go within.   To have that understanding for ourselves.  Not Sandra's experience, not your pastor's version, but your own.  

This weekend I had a wonderful experience with something just like this.  I went out of town with a friend of mine.  We each met the same people and we each saw our mission with them differently.  Sometimes our purpose is simply to show up and be who we are, nothing more, nothing less.  In our being-ness there is a lesson.  I have no need to make you see as I do or to convince you of my rightness.  When I do so, I am wrong.  Some people need what they perceive of as the "security" of traditional thought forms that tell you what to do or what not to do.  There is a comfort in that for them, I respect that.  When we learn to simply  be, we can inspire others through our actions, not just our words.  They may see that it is possible to be one with God, in good favor with God, without being boxed in by their thoughts about God.  

Talk truly is cheap when we don't know how to practice what we preach.  If we speak of non-judgment then that means to not judge against another's beliefs.  If we trust that God gives us exactly what we need, then that means She will send the examples, teachers and experiences necessary to get the job done.  That teacher may or may not be you.  Just know that there is no struggle, only love.  Everyone is not ready for what we think they should be ready for, learning to accept that is a part of our spiritual growth.  Trust the process. 

Judgments Kill

Are you judgmental?  You know most people don't like to own up to the fact that they are judgmental.  They either make excuses for it, "the bible says. . ."  Or try to justify it by saying it's necessary to discern to what they're being exposed.   Let's see, how can I put this clearly?  Judgment KILLS!

Most of us are caught up in this idea that all the extrinsic stuff matters.  So we evaluate people on "stuff:"  The problem is that we get deluded into thinking that the "stuff" some how matters.  I guess in this capitalistic society we put worth in things not in people.  Things like possessions, degrees, positions, you get the point.  Things begin to own us rather than our owning them because we project so much of our self definition into them.  

Now this is getting off into a different area, I'll deal with materialism another day.  You get the idea we judge not that all life has value but that there is a hierarchy of value based solely upon things that are temporal.

Our judgments don't hurt the people we judge against, they hurt they one that judges.  Judging keeps you trapped in the physical and block your own growth.  You will not recognize that you and your brother are one if you are judging him, you won't recognize him as your brother either.  

Judgment is one of the biggest games that the ego has going.  It keeps you stuck in your separateness.  It puts you in the position of the "all knowing" because you assign values and get to determine what has worth and what does not.

People who feel worthless are usually the ones who judge.  If they knew that they had an inherent value then they would look on everyone else as having value as well.  There would be no need to judge them because all is one.  If you are judgmental check yourself, it is not hard to recognize the divinity in you is in all of life.  Its just God experiencing God. 

The Choice

Where am I today?  Well, I was thinking that each of us are born with our own set of personal issues that we must overcome.  For some of us identifying those issues is the largest task of all.  Let me explain.  

I hear ministers quoting from the text about it being harder for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to go through the eye of a needle.  Now we can talk about historically what that meant, (the eye of the needle did not mean then what it means today) but that would be to belabor the issue.  We could talk about values and money, but that would miss the issue too.  The real significance of that statement is how we relate to the physical as opposed to the spiritual.  (Remember, you are just ease dropping on my thoughts). 

It is in our triune nature (mind, body, soul) to try and reconcile our being.  Our mind trying to comprehend the fact that we are eternal with the temporary body.  If our mind totally focuses on the physical, we literally become the walking dead.  (I want to elaborate on that in a second.)  If we focus totally on the soul we miss the entire purpose of our incarnation.  So the reconciliation process is necessary.  

Now on the physical side.  Whatever is physical is temporal, meaning it is born into space and time and therefore subject to decay and extinction.  Follow me.  Put your faith in temporal things and you are headed for a let down.  Some folks determine their self-worth by a job, a car, a title, a house, a relationship or whatever.  Those things while not all physical are temporal and are subject to change or extinction.  That means your self-worth is always contingent on some tangible object over which you have no control.  How scary!

On the spiritual side, (I have to laugh because this woman told me one time that I was so heavenly minded that I was no earthly good.  Not true, I love my incarnation but I am not attached to it.)  Sometimes we can misidentify what it means to live a spiritual life.  I once told a friend of mine "that peace is not achieved through removing the noise that surrounds us, it is finding that place within that knows that eternality is the truth."  That in the face of all that is occurring around us we can not be hurt, attacked, or diminished because we are spiritual beings having a human experience and not the other way around.  So the statement that says if you seek to save your life you will lose it is so true because saving your life is believe that that life is the totality of your being.  

I don't know if that is clear, but let me move on, these are just my thoughts, remember?  

When I see people depressed about the "stuff" of life I can't help but to think that they've missed the beauty of it.  They get caught up thinking the "stuff" matters.  Sometimes its just about learning to maneuver through the mess that's the point.  Deciding and proclaiming peace.

I'll never forget when I was overseas there was this cocoon outside of my window that I watched daily.  Well, when I saw the cocoon starting to open I figured I would assist the butterfly in getting out into the world.  I didn't know that the struggle to squeeze out of the cocoon is how a butterfly pushes the blood back through its body to develop its wings and legs.  My denying him his struggle ended up leaving the resulting mutation unable to continue its journey properly.  

Some people may never get it.  They may die unhappy because they will have thought that happiness was an achievement rather than a choice.  Even that choice is a struggle that must be declared over and over again.  Looking for the easy way out could leave us with mutated lives.  Fortunately, spirit is so wonderful it wont let up, if there is something you must learn, learn it you will.  Now that's what I call peace being thankful for the ass kicking because you realize that in the end it's because you are loved, because you need to learn and its for your own good.  

Hey these are just my thoughts.  We don't own thoughts so feel free to share them.  If you lie and say that they are yours, you do yourself a disservice.  Life copyrights.  Thanks for reading this, your opinions are valued please share them.

Copyright© 2001 By Sandra Bishop Ministries

Clear Chanel

Where am I today?  We all evaluate our actions and the reasoning behind them.  I do, a lot.  Before the radio show I ask myself "what idea or feeling do I want people to walk away with?"  After the show I ask "did I communicate that point and make it clear?"  Did I convey my highest thought and if not why not?  Was the point one that everyone could understand even if they didn't care?  Believe it or not, this dialog is constant for me, especially on the radio.  Yes, I live in the present and doing so means that I accept my actions in that moment, however that does not stop the reflection process that follows.  

When I first began college majoring in philosophy I thought it was something special to use big words that tied up a thought nicely into a neat bundle placing it before my listeners.  Then one day someone said to me that the measure of intelligence is not how well you can confound your audience, its how well you can make them understand.  Anything short of that is pedantry.  I try, probably failing sometimes,  to make ideas so clear that the simplest mind can understand.  After all, what is the point of talking if you are not understood?  Inherent in the definition of Communication is understanding.  Using words and phrases that your listener cannot comprehend, is equivalent to speaking a different language.  He may pick up on your emotions, but not your ideas.

Now, we can make our ideas crystal clear in our own minds that does not mean they will be received that way.  We each have experiences or opinions that color our ability to hear without prejudice.  Certain words or thoughts may trigger associations to other ideas that have little to do with the situation at hand.  For example, in a past relationship whenever we had a disagreement or my feelings were hurt I would automatically go into the communication "model" known as reflection.  He would talk and then I would stop him and say "so what I hear you saying is . . "  we were both amazed at how poorly we understood one another.  I don't know that all women draw the conclusion that when a man says "my mother did it this way, or my ex did it that way .." that a comparison is being made, I did.  In my mind I heard a judgment be it good, bad or indifferent.  Using the reflective model I found that he was actually trying to justify eating all my vegetables that he told me he didn't like.  He thought hated vegetables, until he tried mine. 

I love to read books or listen to people who challenge me expand my mind, but this is not true for everyone.  Confounding your listener can often leave them feeling alienated or intellectually inadequate.  If the purpose is to communicate, then we must do so with the thought of sharing in mind.  Whenever possible, pay attention to who you are talking to making sure you are speaking to them and for them, not just for yourself.  That's my thought for today.  I hope you got it!

The Sparkle

Did you see that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie "Terminator 2" I think it was?  There was this scene where the Terminator had gotten trapped in a huge press and you could see its eyes that had a red light in the center, remember?  When the press came down on him and he got crushed the light dimmed and then went out.

It's sad but most people I see are walking around like that, no light in their eyes.  I often wonder what makes it go out and at what age?

I was sitting in a restaurant with my girlfriend Vel having lunch one day.  This man walks in the door that I nodded a hello to and went on with my conversation with Vel.  I thought where do I know him from?  It started nagging me in the back of my mind .  I could hear his voice but I didn't remember a conversation.  He got his order and was headed out the door I suddenly remembered.  I said "I know you, you're an actor I saw you in. . " I named the play it escapes me at the moment.  

You should have seen the instant transformation.  A light came on, his posture became erect and he even held his head differently.  We watched this man go through a metamorphosis right before our eyes with the mere acknowledgement that he was an actor.  

I don't know what that man was doing that day but it was clear where he got his joy.  If we would just do what gives us joy, we would have that light on all the time.  We would live our truth.  Our purpose.  Our passion.

Copyright© 2001 By Sandra Bishop Ministries

Who am I? - What brings Joy?

I don't know what year this was written in originally but here is the first of many. . . 

"Birds do not sing so others will applaud . . .so we sing"  Larry Bey

Seems as though I've been away for a while and unfortunately I can't say that I am totally back, I'm back for the moment.  This hiatus has been wonderful for me.  I've done a lot of reading, writing and introspection.  I finally finished the book I'd been working on, the editing should be done by the end of April and then off to print.  I'm really excited.  

Over the past few months I've given a lot of thought to what I do and why.  I am a speaker, a teacher and a writer who focuses on spirituality and self-development.  I do this because it gives me joy. 

A Course in Miracles says that man is generous out of his own self interest and in this regard I would agree.    I get great joy from what I share with others.  

Its been my belief that we each have talent, some of which are more marketable than others, and we each have a purpose for being.  I know that I've found mine simply by following what gives me joy.  (If it gets any better I might pop.)  I know that others can find that same joy by doing what makes them happy.  Realizing that the onus is upon the individual to speak to what brings them joy and to follow that.  

The ultimate question becomes "who am I and what makes me happy?"  "What gives me joy?"  This is the only path leading to a truly authentic life.  To find that central referential "I" and begin work from there.  

I remember when I first started doing my radio show.  I would listen to other shows to see what other host did. At the same time realizing that I had to find my own voice, my own way of being that spoke to who I am.  It is important that we each seek and find our voice.  I know the saying that "imitation is the best form of flattery" but copycatting is demeaning.  Your uniqueness certain.  Play your part because only you can.  Don't simply  pander to the ideas and fears of others by doing what you perceive is tried and true. 

Life requires that we shake from our minds the shackles of other people's ideas and opinions.  We must decide what it means to be who we are in this space and time even if we must do so defiantly.  There is nothing glamorous about "blending in."   Don't get me wrong this is not about glamor as much as it is about pushing the limits placed upon you.  

Let me not leave this manifestation with the idea that I simply traveled new roads.  I want to be like Star Trek or Daniel Boone who went where no one has gone before.  I'll cut a path and leave a trail for others to follow and not so that I can beat my chest and say look at what I did, its not about me its about ME.  Since I know its only one of us here.  It reminds me of when Jesus went into the garden to pray just before the crucifixion.  He came out and found all his disciples asleep.   How symbolic.  At the risk of sounding trite - "if not me, who?  If not now, when?"

Wake up we need you too!